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President Shavingsweetstrippedsuperheroine En Tag Nopti Albe Cunt Nekkid /POEZIQ/GINZBURG_A/stihi.txt

President Shavingsweetstrippedsuperheroine En Tag Nopti Albe Cunt Nekkid

Sfera zakata, kak apel'sin bez kozhury, osveshchaet palisadniki, golye tesnyashchiesya vetvi rastut iz bolot - N'yu-Dzhersi, moj otec vedet mashinu po shosse k N'yuarkskomu aeroportu - shpil' |mpajr Stejt, ostrokonechnye vershiny zdanij, Manhetten vozvyshaetsya, kak v glazah U. S. Uil'yamsa, nad liniyami elektroperedach - shestikolesnye gruzoviki razmerenno dvizhutsya mimo, proezd mimo N'yu-Jorka - ya zdes', kroshechnyj pod solncem v beskonechnom belom nebe, glazeyu na karkasy novyh zdanij, i prosypayus' s karandashom v ruke... 11 dekabrya 1974 Kogo bombyat? My ih bombim! Kogo bombyat? My ih bombim! Kogo bombyat? My ih bombim! Kogo bombyat? My ih bombim! Kogo bombyat? Bombish' sebya! Kogo bombyat? Bombish' sebya! Kogo bombyat? Bombish' sebya! Kogo bombyat? Bombish' sebya! CHto delaem? Kogo bombim? CHto delaem? Kogo bombim? CHto delaem? Kogo bombim? CHto delaem? Kogo bombim? CHto delaem? Da ty ih! Ty bombish'! CHto delaem? Da ty ih! Ty bombish'! CHto delaem? Da my ih! My bombim! CHto delaem? Da my ih! My bombim! Kogo bombyat? Da my tebya! Kogo bombyat? Da my tebya! Kogo bombyat? Da ty sebya! Kogo bombyat? Da ty sebya! 16 iyunya 1984 V shest'desyat shest' tol'ko uchus' zabotit'sya o svoem tele, Bodro vstayu v 8 utra, pishu v tetradi, vstayu s posteli obnazhennym, ostavlyaya gologo mal'chika spat' u steny, smeshivayu myaso, griby, luk i zimu v kashu - zavtrak, Proveryayu sahar, akkuratno chishchu zuby, shchetka, zubochistka, nit', zhidkost' dlya rta, mazhu nogi, odevayu beluyu rubashku, trusy i noski, odinoko sizhu pered rakovinoj, prezhde, chem prichesat'sya, schastliv eshche ne byt' trupom. 1992 Kogda umru ya Mne plevat', chto budet s moim telom brosajte pepel v vozduh, rassyp'te vdol' Ist River pohoronite urnu v |lizabet, N'yu Dzhersi, na kladbishche B'nej Israel No ya hochu bol'shie pohorony Sobor Svyatogo Patrika, cerkov' Svyatogo Marka, bol'shaya sinagoga na Manhettene Prezhde vsego sem'ya, moj brat, plemyanniki, bodraya staraya |dit, macheha, ej devyanosto shest', i tetya. I milaya iz starogo N'yuarka, Kuzina Mindi, Doktor Dzhoel, bratec Dzhin, odnoglazyj, odnouhij, i nevestka Blondinka Konni, pyat' plemyannikov, svodnye brat'ya, sestry i ih vnuki, moj kompan'on Piter Orlovski, zabotlivye Rozental' i Hel, Bill Morgan - Zatem, duh moego uchitelya Trungpy Vadzhrachar'i, Gelek Rinposh, potom Sak'eng. Mifam, bditel'nyj Dalaj Lama, vozmozhnost' posetit' Ameriku, SHatchitananda Svami SHivananda, Dehorahava Baba, Karmapa XVI, Dudzhom Rinpoche, duhi Katagiri i Sudzuki Roshi Bejker, Ualen, Dejdo Luri, Kvong, Frejl Belogolovyj Keplyu Roshi, Lama Tarchen - I glavnoe, potom, lyubovniki za vse polveka Dyuzhiny, sotnya i bol'she, starye parni, s den'gami i lysye mal'chiki, nedavno vstrechennye v posteli, tolpy udivlennyh uvidet' drug druga, neschetnye, intimnyj obmen vospominaniyami "On uchil menya meditirovat', teper' ya staryj veteran tysyachednevnogo uedineniya -" "YA igral muzyku na platformah v metro, ya getero no lyubil ego on lyubil menya" "YA poluchil ot nego bol'she lyubvi v 19, chem potom ot kogo-to eshche" "My lezhali pod odeyalami, boltali, chitali moi stihi, obnimalis' i celovalis' zhivot k zhivotu obhvativ rukami drug druga" "YA vsegda zalezal k nemu v krovat' v trusah, a utrom oni uzhe lezhali na polu" "YAponec, vsegda hotel pristroit' k masteru moyu zadnicu" "Byvalo, govorili s nim vsyu noch' o Kessidi i Keruake, sideli v pozah Buddy, a posle spali v posteli geniya-poeta." "Emu, pohozhe, bylo nuzhno stol'ko lyubvi, tak stydno ne sdelat' ego schastlivym" "YA byl odinok, nikogda ran'she ne byl golym v posteli s kem-nibud', on byl tak nezhen, moj zhivot trepetal, kogda on provodil po nemu pal'cem, spuskayas' k bedram -" "YA prosto lezhal na spine s zakrytymi glazami, on dovodil menya do orgazma rtom, pal'cami obnyav menya za taliyu" "On zdorovo sosal" I budut sluhi ot lyubovnikov iz 1948-go, duh Nila Kessidi soedinitsya s plot'yu i yunoj krov'yu 1997-go kakoj syurpriz - "Ty tozhe? YA dumal, ty ne goluboj!" "Da, no Ginzberg - isklyuchenie, mne pochemu-to s nim bylo horosho" "YA zabyval, byl ya getero, geem, zabavnym ili strannym, ya byl soboj, nezhnym i lyubil, kogda menya celuyut v makushku, moj lob, gorlo i serdce i solnechnoe spletenie, pupok, moj chlen, moj zad, kotoryj on shchekotal yazykom" "Mne nravilos', kak on citiroval : 'No pozadi vsegda ya slyshu/kak kolesnica vremeni mne v spinu dyshit,' golovy lezhat ryadom, glaza v glaza, na podushke -" Sredi lyubovnikov odin yunyj krasavec brodit szadi "YA poseshchal ego uroki poezii 17-letnim parnem, begal po porucheniyam v ego dom bez lifta, soblaznil menya, ya ne hotel, zastavil menya konchit', ushel domoj, nikogda ne videl ego bol'she, nikogda ne hotel... " "U nego ne vstaval, no on lyubil menya," "CHistyj staryj chelovek." "On ubezhdalsya, chto ya konchil pervym" Skoplenie udivlennyh i gordyh na pochetnom meste ceremonii. Potom poety i muzykanty - grandzhevye gruppy parnej iz kolledzha - zvezdy staroj epohi "Bitlz", chestnye trudyagi-gitaristy, golubye dirizhery klassiki, neizvestnye kompozitory vysokogo Dzhaza, fanki-trubachi, chernye genii izognutogo basa i valtorny, skripachi-fol'kloristy i domry tamburiny garmoniki mandoliny arfy svistul'ki i kazu Zatem, hudozhniki Ital'yancy romantiki realisty obuchennye mistike v Indii v 60-e, Pozdnie lyubimcy |trusskie hudozhniki-poety, Klassiki-hudozhniki Massachusets syurrealisty nahaly s evropejskimi zhenami, skudnye al'bomy gips maslo akvarel' mastera iz amerikanskih provincij Potom, shkol'nye uchitelya, odinokie irlandcy-bibliotekari, utonchennye bibliofily, net dvizheniyu za svobodu seksa armii, damy oboih polov "YA videl ego desyatki raz on nikogda ne pomnil moego imeni ya lyubil ego kak by to ni bylo, nastoyashchij hudozhnik" "Nervnyj sryv posle menopauzy, yumor v ego stihah spas menya ot bol'nic dlya samoubijc" "CHarodej, genij sderzhannyh maner, umyvalsya, obedal v moej studii gostil nedelyu v Budapeshte" Tysyachi chitatelej, "'Voj' izmenil moyu zhizn' v Libertville, Illinojs" "YA videl, kak on chital Monklera v peduchilishche, reshil stat' poetom -" "On zavel menya, ya nachinal garazhnym rokerom, pel v Kanzas Siti" "Posle 'Kaddisha' ya plakal o sebe i ob otce, togda eshche zhivom, v Nevade" "'Cmert' otca' uteshila menya, kogda sestra umerla v Bostone v 1982-m" "YA uvidel ego slova v zhurnale, mne stalo tak svetlo, ya ponyal, chto est' drugie lyudi, takie zhe, kak ya" Gluhonemye bardy poyut pri pomoshchi ruk, bystrye blestyashchie zhesty Potom ZHurnalisty, sekretari redaktorov, agenty, portretisty i fotografy revnostnye poklonniki, rok-kritiki, kul'turnye trudyagi, istoriki kul'tury prihodyat licezret' istoricheskie pohorony Superfany, grafomany, stareyushchie Bitniki i Primykaly, ohotniki za avtografami, bespokojnye paparacci, intelligenty-prostofili Vse znali, chto oni byli chast'yu "Istorii", krome pokojnogo, kotoryj nikogda tochno ne znal, chto proishodit, dazhe kogda ya byl zhiv 1997 O dear sweet rosy unattainable desire . . .how sad, no way to change the mad cultivated asphodel, the visible reality. . . and skin's appalling petals-- how inspired to be so Iying in the living room drunk naked and dreaming, in the absence of electricity . . . over and over eating the low root of the asphodel, gray fate . . . rolling in generation on the flowery couch as on a bank in Arden-- my only rose tonite's the treat of my own nudity. The weight of the world is love. Under the burden of solitude, under the burden of dissatisfaction the weight, the weight we carry is love. Who can deny? In dreams it touches the body, in thought constructs a miracle, in imagination anguishes till born in human-- looks out of the heart burning with purity-- for the burden of life is love, but we carry the weight wearily, and so must rest in the arms of love at last, must rest in the arms of love. No rest without love, no sleep without dreams of love-- be mad or chill obsessed with angels or machines, the final wish is love -- cannot be bitter, cannot deny, cannot withhold if denied: the weight is too heavy -- must give for no return as thought is given in solitude in all the excellence of its excess. The warm bodies shine together in the darkness, the hand moves to the center of the flesh, the skin trembles in happiness and the soul comes joyful to the eye-- yes, yes, that's what I wanted, I always wanted, I always wanted, to return to the body where I was born. Drinking my tea Without sugar- No difference. The sparrow shits upside down -ah! my brain & eggs Mayan head in a Pacific driftwood bole -Someday I'll live in N.Y. Looking over my shoulder my behind was covered with cherry blossoms. Winter Haiku I didn't know the names of the flowers-now my garden is gone. I slapped the mosquito and missed. What made me do that? Reading haiku I am unhappy, longing for the Nameless. A frog floating in the drugstore jar: summer rain on grey pavements. On the porch in my shorts; auto lights in the rain. Another year has past-the world is no different. The first thing I looked for in my old garden was The Cherry Tree. My old desk: the first thing I looked for in my house. My early journal: the first thing I found in my old desk. My mother's ghost: the first thing I found in the living room. I quit shaving but the eyes that glanced at me remained in the mirror. The madman emerges from the movies: the street at lunchtime. Cities of boys are in their graves, and in this town... Lying on my side in the void: the breath in my nose. On the fifteenth floor the dog chews a bone- Screech of taxicabs. A hardon in New York, a boy in San Fransisco. The moon over the roof, worms in the garden. I rent this house. Last nite I dreamed of T.S. Eliot welcoming me to the land of dream Sofas couches fog in England Tea in his digs Chelsea rainbows curtains on his windows, fog seeping in the chimney but a nice warm house and an incredibly sweet hooknosed Eliot he loved me, put me up, gave me a couch to sleep on, conversed kindly, took me serious asked my opinion on Mayakovsky I read him Corso Creeley Kerouac advised Burroughs Olson Huncke the bearded lady in the Zoo, the intelligent puma in Mexico City 6 chorus boys from Zanzibar who chanted in wornout polygot Swahili, and the rippling rhythms of Ma Rainey and Rachel Lindsay. On the Isle of the Queen we had a long evening's conversation Then he tucked me in my long red underwear under a silken blanket by the fire on the sofa gave me English dottle and went off sadly to his bed, Saying ah Ginsberg I am glad to have met a fine young man like you. At last, I woke ashamed of myself. Is he that good and kind? Am I that great? What's my motive dreaming his manna? What English Department would that impress? What failure to be perfect prophet's made up here? I dream of my kindness to T.S. Eliot wanting to be a historical poet and share in his finance of Imagery- overambitious dream of eccentric boy. God forbid my evil dreams come true. Last nite I dreamed of Allen Ginsberg. T.S. Eliot would've been ashamed of me. a lot of mouths and cocks, under the world there's a lot of come, and a lot of saliva dripping into brooks, There's a lot of Shit under the world, flowing beneath cities into rivers, a lot of urine floating under the world, a lot of snot in the world's industrial nostrils, sweat under world's iron arm, blood gushing out of the world's breast, endless lakes of tears, seas of sick vomit rushing between the hemispheres floating towards Sargasso, old oily rags and brake fluids, human gasoline-- Under the world there's pain, fractured thighs, napalm burning in black hair, phosphorus eating elbows to bone insectiside contaminating oceantide, plastic dolls floating across Atlantic, Toy soldiers crowding the Pacific, B-52 bombers choking jungle air with vaportrails and brilliant flares Robot drones careening over rice terraces dropping cluster grenades, plastic pellets spray into flesh, dragontooth mines & jellied fires fall on straw roofs and water buffalos, perforating village huts with barbed shrapnel, trenchpits filled with fuel-gas-poisen'd explosive powders-- Under the world there's broken skulls, crushed feet, cut eyeballs, severed fingers, slashed jaws, Dysentry, homeless millions, tortured hearts, empty souls.